There is not a lot of Mexico news to write. I did have a really big heartbreaking event occur to me that some may laugh at my pain. Briefly, most know that I love Thanksgiving time more than any other time of the year. I have written about having big dinners in Mexico with maybe 6 or more Turkeys, Ham, and all the fixings. Well, this year I planned again. But my freezer in Mexico that my grandmother bought me when out when I was away. I lost the turkeys, special hams, and worst my leg of lamb. Well, this is a painful event for me. The whole dinner was spoiled. And what a stink it was to open the door of the freezer. Anyways no Thanksgiving dinner this year in Tijuana. It seems really like a sad day. And it is for me. But the Lord had a better plan.
My wife’s sisters and brothers in the Mexico State of Guadalajara ( The State famous for the home of Speedy Gonzales the fastest mouse in all Mexico, from the Bugs Bunny cartoons) and Sinaloa Mexico. When they heard no dinner in Tijuana they were delighted and insisted we will visit them for Thanksgiving dinner for us. This will be a whole new experience for us to go very far south into Mexico and see how real Mexico is really. But I still will miss not making dinner for all our church friends. So, what was a superficially miserable event to me, is turning out to be exciting and great anticipation to my Patty and the boys and they have longed to visit that part of Mexico for years. Patty has not been to see her family in over 25 years.
Now on the important eternal questions. The burden of my heart has been, what is, and how to find the will of God. If you met me in 1984 or 1985 you would have found a teenager consumed in finding the perfect Will of God. And you would have found a stressed, confused, and anxious teenager. This was the consuming desire of my heart and it still is to this day.
To me, determining and finding the Will of God is one of the most difficult and subjective themes for a child of God.
Now I will make this statement. Today as I write this letter. I believe I am in the perfect will of God. Yet my life is not what I want, I am fatigued, flustered, confused. And I can’t help my feelings as many times I wonder. But I have been down that road too many times. But using the comparison of the story when Pilgrim’s name was changed to Christian. He kept on the path and looked for the Celestial City. No more looking back.
But today I am down perplexed. Yet I have such a clam peace that passes the understanding that God is on His throne and has a plan and purpose yet to be revealed. I have no physical proof but I just have hope.
And I am so miserably tired, but absolutely at peace with my Savior who loves me and is the Captain of our soul. I am more curious than a baby kitten playing with some moving object as to what his next step is for my family. I have no concerns or worries about it. Yet I do not have a clue what I am to do. And there is not much on a human side I can do even if I had a plan. Oh, there are many things I want to do, but not a clue what to do about them. My longing is to go back and live 100% in Tijuana as we did before mom died. But that is not possible yet.
And why do not fear and dread this serious lack of knowing what to do? In fact, I could not care less right now. Although I am extremely curious. It is because it is a common problem in the Word of God.
In 1985 I was the most miserable teenager longing for the will of God.
I tried going to lunch with Pastors, Missionaries, books and exhausted the subject. All who tried to help me.
My final searched ended with my going to hear J. Vernon McGee preach at a conference near me. After the service, I waited and came to him and very briefly told him my problem. He as only he could say with his Texas accent in front of everyone. “Young man, you want God to give you a map and scroll with what to do each day and you just follow the little map, Well, young man, the Lord is not going to do that for you”
I don’t remember what else he said, but that hit the nail on the head. I have found after all these years that Bother McGee was correct. I walked away that night in 1984 still not knowing the will of God. But I had the Peace of God to trust the Lord. And as always, curious as to what God had for me. But at peace in my heart.
I am not going to write a long letter on what I learned over the years, but since I am in the same state of not knowing as I was in 1994 in High School. I desire to share one point from the Book of Daniel.
Daniel the prophet of God was still an active student in study of the Word of God. As quoted in Daniel 9:1.
In Daniel 9:1 he learned and received a “revelation” of God. He read and understood the plan, purpose, and will of God. In this case that God had limited the judgment of Israel to 70 years of Babylon captivity. Now he must have done the math and knew it was coming to an end.
So now he needs a ILLUMINATION of this great revelation he learned.
He knew the will and plan of God. But he was as blank and my mind was as to how it applied to him and everything he knew.
So here is the secret to finding the will of God. Daniel found it. George Müller of Bristol England used it to the extraordinary glory of God. And it is what I long to process. And it is so simple but has been deluded by the Church when the Churches began to follow the counsel of the ungodly.
From Daniel 9:4-20 He set his face to pray. And he concluded this short and to the point prayer:
O Lord, hear; O Lord, forgive; O Lord, hearken and do; defer not, for thine own sake, O my God: for thy city and thy people are called by thy name. O Lord, hear; O Lord, forgive; O Lord, hearken and do; defer not, for thine own sake, O my God: for thy city and thy people are called by thy name.
And when he was done speaking. The answer he needed, his Illumination was there waiting to explain the plan of God.
Now no angel has ever appeared to George Muller, or Hudson Taylor as far as I know. Yet these men had the power of God resting on their lives and they also struggled at times to know the will of God. Muller wrote books on his struggles. But his answers always came by the same method of Daniel. Prayer. Likewise, so have my answers come by sincere personal prayer seeking audience with the God Heaven. Of which I have never been denied access to the Most High God. And that access is through the Name of the Lord Jesus who shed his blood for me.
No, I don’t hear voices, have visions, or get to chat with an Angel as Daniel did. And he found it dreadful and even collapsed. See Daniel 10:
O my lord, by the vision my sorrows are turned upon me, and I have retained no strength. For how can the servant of this my lord talk with this my lord? for as for me, straightway there remained no strength in me, neither is there breath left in me.
Then there came again and touched me one like the appearance of a man, and he strengthened me, and said, O man greatly beloved, fear not: peace be unto thee, be strong, yea, be strong. And when he had spoken unto me, I was strengthened, and said, Let my lord speak; for thou hast strengthened me.
So, I conclude it is better the way the Lord has dwelt with me. And beside without faith, it is impossible to please God. So, if God spoke to us or gave me a direct menu of what to do. It would not be by faith. And therefore whatever we did would not pleasing to God even if it is in obedience to him.
And as I am curious as can be for my future and Mexico. Wondering and waiting. Ever so impatiently. It seems the more impatient I become, the tighter the locks become that God has placed on me.
And therefore I will do as I have learned from the Word of God and the all the Godly men God has placed in my life to be examples and mentors. And see how Daniel always began his prayer with real repentance.
Seeking my answers in the written Word of God, and then have my personal audience before the Most High God. And as it is promised to us and I have experienced.
As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent. 20 Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.
Until the Lord illumines us on his plan for my family and the next steps we are to take. And for the Lords plan for Mexico. It is time to diligently search the Word of God, and pray having our audience before the Most High God of Heaven. And then the best of all. That personal promise of communion with the Lord Jesus. For I long for the living waters God has promised.
If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you. Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples. As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love. If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments, and abide in his love.